The past eleven months without him have been hard, especially as our ending was so sudden and unexpected. My traumatic experience means I have spent much of the time in shock. No wonder it feels almost unreal that at this time on this day twelve months ago, Robert and I were standing on the balcony together, enjoying the sunset and finalising our trip north to Alentejo. I’ll tell you more about those adventures next week. Today though I need to share how much I miss him and our life. I’m also missing our future, you know that plan A all couples have. Working out my plan B is going to take a while.

67 thoughts

  1. I know the next month will be especially tough but I also know that you’re approaching it with courage, just as you have done the preceding eleven. And your plan B will come together gradually. I’m sure Robert would be proud of how you are coping with all of this and would want you to hold on to happy memories such as this beautiful sunset.

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  3. Just saw this as I was about to switch off, and look at all these responses! There’s a tidal wave of warmth and support here, Becky, and I know that they can never replace Robert, but the fact that you are able to write this today is in itself a huge achievement. Sending hugs!

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  11. That’s a fabulous sunset Becky. I hope it brings you good memories. I know that next month will be incredibly hard, but you do have a plan and every day takes you one step nearer.

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    1. Thank you so much ❤️ I’m glad you can’t imagine it as I hate to think of anyone going through this. Really appreciate the support 🤗

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  15. This must have been a bitter-sweet post to write, with memories that you weren’t to know would soon become a swansong too. You’ve already made great strides towards imagining a new life: a move may make this a lot easier (once it’s happened – we all know moving’s a nightmare!). You’re often in my thoughts Becky, and will be especially as the unwanted anniversary approaches. Sending love and hugs.

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    1. Thanks Margaret ❤️ it was and is very bittersweet. Thankful our last month together was full of happy memories and trying not to let mind think of all the missed health opportunities and ‘what ifs’. Think that’s why I wrote the post xxx

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  17. Like Sue, I believe you are doing well and starting to carve out the next phase of your journey. Although plan B is not the plan you want, it’s now your plan, and you have the love and support of so many people moving forward in your (new) life without Robert. A lot of love and hugs are coming your way from down here.

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    1. Thanks Sue ❤️ some days are so so hard, but now and again I do see glimpses of what plan B might be. Your support and understanding means everything xxx

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  20. I look forward to reading about those adventures. I remember your thoughts when you lost Robert nearly a year ago. Becky, you are doing so well coping and forging a new life for yourself.

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    1. Thanks Denzil, really appreciate your kind thoughts. The next four weeks are going to evoke so many memories and recollections – some good, some impossibly hard. Thanks again ❤️

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