One step at a time

I am not the first widowed person who has heard these words, and I know I won’t be the last. They are wise words but it is incredibly hard to take even a single step some days. And every month there are days when I need to return home after less than 20 minutes outside or even return to bed in the afternoon. Not only is this absolutely okay, it’s also totally normal.

A grief journey after a great loss is not a linear progression nor is there a finish line. This kind of grief is incredibly messy, there are no timescales, it is physically painful and it is also unpredictable. That’s why platitudes and proffered solutions don’t help.

Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

Megan Devine, It’s Ok that you’re not ok

For me putting one foot in front of the other, outdoors, helps build my resilence. Resilence helps make carrying grief a little bit easier. So I’m going to keep moving those feet. I hope in time walking might also help me figure out the new me in my rearranged world. For now though it’s all about good audiobooks and a walking goal. The right company is also nice. So it would be fabulous if you were able to join me with your own neighbourhood stroll before Squares ends next week. If you cannot get out to walk, then no worries your comments on my squares are great too.

73 thoughts

  1. Hi Becky. Sometimes I can’t find the right words, but others have and I agree with so many of the comments you’ve received today. “This is a great post”, “It tugs at the heartstrings”, and “Something can’t be fixed”. Just yesterday I was telling my sister (who’s not coping) to step outside and just place ‘one foot in front of the other’. What a small world we live in ๐Ÿฅฐ

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    1. sending hugs to you and your sister. Grief is so weird and so strange. You gave her good advice, and it might be worth you looking at the book I have quoted – there’s a link via the quote. It has helped me so much

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      1. Thanx Becky, I’ve just found her podcast and sent a link to my sister -she loves listening to podcasts (and so do I) ๐Ÿฅฐ Hugs and love and good vibes back at you ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  2. Becky, I really enjoyed your post this morning. Us on the outside of your world, see you as strong to keep taking that next step and rebuild your life. Although, you probably don’t see yourself as strong, but just trying to keep one foot in front of the other so you don’t stumble and fall down or fall apart. I’m so glad you are sharing part of what you feel right now.
    Here is my entry for the day.

    November 25 – One Step at a Time – WalkingSquares

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