One step at a time

I am not the first widowed person who has heard these words, and I know I won’t be the last. They are wise words but it is incredibly hard to take even a single step some days. And every month there are days when I need to return home after less than 20 minutes outside or even return to bed in the afternoon. Not only is this absolutely okay, it’s also totally normal.

A grief journey after a great loss is not a linear progression nor is there a finish line. This kind of grief is incredibly messy, there are no timescales, it is physically painful and it is also unpredictable. That’s why platitudes and proffered solutions don’t help.

Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.

Megan Devine, It’s Ok that you’re not ok

For me putting one foot in front of the other, outdoors, helps build my resilence. Resilence helps make carrying grief a little bit easier. So I’m going to keep moving those feet. I hope in time walking might also help me figure out the new me in my rearranged world. For now though it’s all about good audiobooks and a walking goal. The right company is also nice. So it would be fabulous if you were able to join me with your own neighbourhood stroll before Squares ends next week. If you cannot get out to walk, then no worries your comments on my squares are great too.

73 thoughts

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  7. Hard as it is sometimes I’m sure you’re doing the right thing in persevering, putting one foot in front of the other both literally on your walks and in your approach to living with grief.

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  16. I had a walk yesterday that was difficult for entirely different and better reasons. Rain such as you have rarely seen! I’ll try and pop a post in later.

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  17. There will be good times for you but then even moments later, your great loss will overcome you. 

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  18. This tugs at the heart strings, Becky. There is only one foot after the other, but you have to know that Robert is walking every step with you, urging you on. You will always carry him in your heart, but the physical loss is hard. Many people suffer from depression and you might pass them in the street and not know how hard it was for them to be there. Life can be cruel, but it can be wonderful too. Hugs, darlin!

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  22. A walking memory today Becky. Not in the mood for walking, beside it being rather hot, just didn’t have the inside to be outside xx
    I am walking with you every step of the way

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    1. Sorry it is so hot, and you are lovely to have shared a walking memory. Thank you, thank you also for walking beside me these past 7 months. Has helped me so much.

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  25. Some things can’t be fixed, they can only be carried. A loss is a loss, but we need to move on. No one can make us comfort on that time, it will take a while to get accepted to the reality. A conflict of mind and heart occurs. A slow process only can be expected. It takes time to come out of the situation.

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    1. Thank you for your thoughts, I’m not going to be able to agree though! I can never come out of my situation as it is my new reality, and for the same reason I cannot move on from my loss. The loss will always be with me.

      I can though learn to carry my grief and also, in time, discover ways to grow around the loss so I can live my new life well.

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