I am not quite ready for roaming the countryside on my own yet. Consequently all of my walks tend to be on well trodden footpaths or in extensive public gardens where I know someone is always a shout away. Having said that I also value the time alone whether listening to an audiobook or caught up with my own thoughts. That’s the thing about intense and active grieving. Your wants and your needs can change in an instant, a bit like how my life was changed in an instant in April.

Feeling safe though is something I always need and want. Robert for the past 25 years has been my safety, even on the days when I was providing the support to him and/or being a strong independent woman. So it has been a shock to the system to find I now need to create that feeling of safety myself. I am fortunate though there are plenty of safe walks around me I can return to again and again. Exploring Hampshire’s arboretum is one of those, plus there is always something new and unusual to discover here.

There’s always something new to discover at Sir Harold Hillier Gardens

I’d love it if you joined me and took a Square photograph on a walk this week. Our square community is so supportive and safe, and if you use the theme’s tag WalkingSquares we can find each other easily. Don’t forget also to include a pingback to my daily square posts.

83 thoughts

  1. While I worry about how Garry could manage without me, I know that I can’t imagine going on without him. I suppose when we have been together for so many years, we become part of each other.


      1. And yet, I have come to understand that it WILL happen — to him or to me but that hope that we both evaporate simultaneously. That’s what we wish for, but it doesn’t happen. So I’m trying to understand what this means and how we can deal with it.


      2. oh I know what you mean about evaporate simultaneously. Part of me wishes that still . . . . the advice I would give it make sure all the household bills are in both your names, keep take zillions of photos of each other and also record random conversations. Knowing I can still hear his voice when I want is a huge bonus for me . . and whatever happens remember grief is unique and to do it your way whatever anyone else says xxx


  2. What an interesting sculpture! Glad you found a spot that soothes the soul. I looked up the garden and I’ve been near there as we have friends and family in Petersfield so always spend time in that area when we are in England.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s a lovely dragonfly – I like gardens where you can find sculptures, they add another dimension to the visit. You got me thinking about my safe place. I always feel at ease when I climb ‘my’ hill and feel myself relaxing into an almost meditative state as I cast my eyes around the 360 degree view. I don’t know why that is, maybe some weird sense of history, those Iron Age travellers who once had a fort here. Whatever it is, I always feel safe there.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I know. Guess with all the problems at the moment we won’t be moving any time soon, but one day we’ll need to be closer to a town. Are you considering town or country? Or knowing you, the coast?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I would so love the coast but trying to find somewhere in the south west that isn’t inundated with summer tourists seems impossible. So suspect instead I will be looking for a river or a canal in a town. Has to be a town as I am planning on going without a car once I have moved.


  4. My husband was my rock! Without him, everything is a challenge. He’s not there to tell me, everything is going to be OK, we cross that bridge when we get there, and don’t bleed before the wound- things he used to say to calm me down.

    Liked by 1 person

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