As some of you know this past week has been awful for my family, and so when I can I am trying to grab those moments of beauty that are always around us. A bird singing, a flower opening, a bee buzzing, a kind word, a child giggling or as I saw a few minutes ago a sunrise.

The reason it has been so awful is that my lovely husband died suddenly and unexpectedly.

MrB was (and will always be in our hearts and memories) a fabulous dad, a loving grandfather, a great brother, uncle and son in law, a wonderful and kind friend and of course book person extraordinaire. He was truly amazing, and so kind and gentle. He also had a passion for bad puns!

Everyone who ever met him is going miss him.

111 thoughts

  1. It’s now a month and I only read this now. I’m so sorry, Becky. I hope that you kind find solace in your family and also your memories and from the little I know you’ve made lots of beautiful ones with him. In time, you will make new ones, I’m sure and you will share them with him, albeit differently than before. Sending love and hugs.

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  2. I’m sorry to read this, Becky. Can’t imagine how you and your family feel. I came here from reading the next post describing what a wonderful, interesting man he was. I didn’t know him but knowing you and how you felt about him, I know he was a wonderful man who will be terribly missed and who leaves a big hole in many lives. Sending you all the best.

    janet

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  3. Oh Becky I just returned from a vacation in France and London and I just read this post. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you. Surround yourself with love from your family and friends and the beauty that you see from your window. Hugs…..Carol

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  5. Beautiful, bright Becky B, your news saddens all of us who know you. I loved Carol’s statement “wrapping you with love in our thoughts and prayers today.”That’s what I’ll be doing in my prayers every time you come into my thoughts.

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    1. Thanks Tish, and yes the shock has just been devastating. His daughters and I are though are somehow finding strength in each other, and together I know we will support each other over the coming weeks and months.

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  7. Oh, Becky, I am so sorry to hear this sad and awful news. I’m sending healing thoughts to you as you struggle through each day. You have a circle of support the world over. ❤️

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  8. This is such tragic news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you have a supportive community around you in the ‘real’ world – you know you are in the midst of one here and are very much loved.

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    1. oh thank you so so much. Every message of love is helping me and his daughters so much. Still reeling, and still can’t believe what has happened. We are taking though day by day, and know it will get easier in time

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      1. Just checking in to see how you are and I’m sorry to see from your tweets on the right about your struggles with company procedures and the irony of the thoughtless, standard ‘Have a nice day’ from British Gas. If only we lived in an alternative universe where kindness and empathy were key performance indicators! Sending virtual hugs.

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      2. oh Susan, thank you so so much for checking in. I am functioning, and at times doing amazingly well with getting things done and make decisions . . . and then every day, mostly in morning, there are huge wobbly moments. Tough as those wobbles are though, I welcome them and just go with the flow. As everyone keeps reminding me it is very early days – not even two weeks.

        Really helps though when there are occasional check ins from lovely people such as yourself. So huge thank you xx

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    1. Thank you so much, and yes we are just beginning to be able to recall memories in a positive way and it does help.

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  12. Becky, I was so saddened to read this. My condolences to you and your family. It’s so hard when something like this happens out of the blue, but it’s good that you have such loving support at this time and always. Cherish the memories and take the time you need for yourself to get through this as you surely will.

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    1. Thank you so much Graham. You are right the support does help so much – those immediately around me, those a little bit further afield and those here in this great blogging community. All are helping me find a way to cope and to function, and I really appreciate it.

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    1. thank you so much Marilyn. I know in time the shock and raw pain will ease, and every message I receive is helping with that.

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  14. Oh, my dear Becky, my heart is aching for you. This is beyond words and I don’t know what to say. But know that I am thinking of you and your family and sending love and hugs from the other side of the world 💜🤗

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    1. Thank you so much Clare. The past 8 days have been beyond devastating, especially as I found him hours after he had died. It has been tough, but somehow finding the strength to function, and I am sure part of that strength is coming from all the love and thoughts that are being send my way. So thank you those virtual hugs are making a huge difference

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  15. My deepest condolences to you and your beautiful family. So many wonderful, kind comments here that have been shared. Know you are loved with all that you do and all we can do is send healing thoughts for your loss. May he rest in peace, and sending the warmest hugs. ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

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    1. Thank you so so much. This feeling of being wrapped in virtual love and hugs is really helping, and I know will continue to help me over the coming weeks and months

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  17. I am saddened to learn of the sudden death of your husband. Please know that at this time of your deep grief, those whose lives you have touched are thinking of you because we are enriched to have you, your writing and your pictures as a bright spot in our lives.

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  18. Grab each and every one of those wonderful moments Becky, though I know you must be feeling pretty numb right now, hard to understand or take in what has happened, stomach in knots. Concentrate on finding a way one day at a time, one hour at a time. Take care of yourself my friend and take strength from those around you. The tears will flow, your heart will ache, but the memories will come, and with them the joy and happiness he brought into your life xx

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    1. oh Jude you have it exactly. It really is hour by hour at the moment. Yesterday was particularly tough as it was a week ago yesterday I found him. He died on the night of 4th but I was away and it was not until late morning on the 5th I knew for definite. I had an inkling overnight because our usual pre-bed message exchange when we are apart had not happened, but even so coming into the house last Tuesday was just horrid. Although there was also a giggle as he’d put the security chain on so had to get a neighbour to help me get in!! His DIY security was top notch.

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